Fertile Green
by Kamari Turen
Summary: Chase is bored and decides to do something about it, much to the chagrin of his friends. Written just for the humor of it. One shot. AU. Rated M for drug use, drug references, and language.


It was a Friday evening and Chase Stein was bored. Not just bored, like the kind teenagers often get when listening to their elders tell stories, but really bored, to the point that he had lost all sense of time and purpose. It was a mind numbing boredom that left Chase wondering if he'd ever really existed in any other state than this. He knew he had, but he still couldn't help wondering if everything he'd experienced up to that point hadn't all been just a dream or some kind of really well cast illusion.

Chase was sitting in cockpit of the Leapfrog, trying to come up with something to do, while also cursing his friends. After all, it was their fault that he was so bored. He had wanted to get everyone together for a party at the Hostel, but they'd all been too busy to accept his invitation. Karolina and Xavin were locked away somewhere, undoubtedly having sex or something. Nico and Molly had gone out to get supplies and food. Victor was busy fiddling around with his damnable gadgets and gizmos. Klara was still wrapped up in her seemingly never-ending quest to understand twenty first century technology. And Gert had taken Old Lace for a walk, though Chase suspected she was just trying to avoid him. They'd had a fight a few days earlier and Gert hadn't spoken to him since. And so, here he was, alone in the Leapfrog with nothing to do.

It was extremely frustrating to have no one listen to him, but what could he do? Nico was the boss, so he couldn't force her to do anything. Karolina, Xavin, Victor, and Molly could all easily kick his ass, so he couldn't force them either. Klara seemed not to trust him, so in the interest of not freaking her out he hadn't even considered trying to get her to do anything. And Gert had Old Lace, who could easily rip out his throat if he pissed Gert off. So he was left with no real options on that front and had given up any hope of having fun tonight until he remembered the weed he had stashed in the cockpit of the Leapfrog.

Struck with a sudden inspiration Chase rummaged through the cockpit until he found the two jars in which he'd stashed the weed. He had bought it several days earlier and had hidden it in here because he was usually the only one who piloted the Leapfrog. He didn't know exactly what kind of weed it was, but the guy he'd bought it from had assured him it was good stuff. Honestly he didn't really care, as long as it got him high.

"_Master, may I ask what you are doing?_" the Leapfrog's mechanical voice asked then.

"Uh...nothing, really." Chase lied. "Just trying to take my mind off this soul crushing boredom before I go insane."

"_My sensors detect a large quantity of marijuana._" the Leapfrog said. "_Do you intend to use it master?_"

"What the hell do you think?" Chase snapped. "Of course I'm gonna use it."

"_You do know that marijuana is illegal and the likely hood of you getting in trouble is quite high, do you not?_" the Leapfrog asked.

"Yeah, no shit 'Frog." Chase muttered. "How the fuck do you know all of that anyway?"

"_I was programmed with such knowledge master, by your parents._" Leapfrog answered.

Chase gave the cockpit a dark glance. "Well bully for you." he muttered. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna light this shit up and get higher than then the Empire State. And you, you bucket of bolts, are going to keep this a secret from the others, especially Gert and Nico."

"_As you command master._" Leapfrog said, though Chase thought he heard a hint of insincerity in the transports reply.

Ignoring this, Chase opened one of the jars and pulled out a clump of bud, grinning as he did so. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out some papers, which he lay out on the floor, before rolling the bud up into a joint. Grinning again, he brought the joint to his lips and lit it, inhaling the smoke into his lungs as he did so. The first hit made him cough, but he quickly overcame the sensation and surrendered to the euphoria. The effect of the weed was nearly instantaneous and within minutes Chase felt himself relax, all of his troubles seeming to float away.

"Ah, the power of the fertile green." he mused, as his mind began to wander. He had never gotten high before and he noticed immediately that everything seemed more distinct now that he was. He had been expecting the opposite, but somehow things he had never noticed before became instantly apparent to him now. Grinning again, he fired up the Leapfrog and left the Hostel, curious to see what else changed when one was high.

"_Master, if I may ask, where are we going?_" Leapfrog asked as they entered the city.

"Anywhere I feel like going." Chase answered. "We're going on an adventure." He chuckled to himself then, finding his reason for leaving somehow funny.

"_Master, may I remind you again that this is not a logical plan._" Leapfrog said.

"Can it 'Frog." Chase said. "You...you just need to...um...damn it, what's the word?" He paused for a moment, trying to remember the word he had been searching for. "Relax!" he said, suddenly. "That's it. You just need to relax 'Frog."

"_I am incapable of relaxing master._" Leapfrog said. "_I am a machine and I was not programmed to relax._"

"Well, I'm afraid you've got no...um...choice." Chase said. "I'm driving and I say we're going on a fucking adventure."

Before the Leapfrog could respond Chase turned on some music and activated the cloaking device, ending all arguments from the transport about where they went or what they did. The music he had chosen was High on Fire, which seemed appropriate as a soundtrack for his stoned adventure. Plus, he never got to listen to High on Fire under normal circumstances as Gert didn't really like the band, so this was the perfect opportunity to get in some much needed stoner metal listening time.

* * *

Several hours later Chase brought the Leapfrog to a stop in front of the Hollywood sign. He had spent much of his adventure hopping around Los Angeles marveling at the bright lights and the mass of people that called the city home. He had never given much thought to the population before, but now he seemed acutely aware of just how many souls there were in L.A. It was astounding to him that some many people were packed into such a small area and he wondered how the people didn't all suffocate from the sheer claustrophobic nature of the mass.

"We're like sardines or something." he mused, gazing down at the city below him. "We're all crammed into this city like sardines and we don't even know it." He laughed then, amused by his own analogy. "Fucking sardine people, that's what we are."

"_Your analogy is quite accurate master._" Leapfrog agreed. Its mechanical voice sounded amused, but Chase wasn't sure if that was because of the weed or what.

"Yeah, thanks for that 'Froggy." he said, his tone sarcastic. It was then that he noticed the Fistigons sitting in the back of the cockpit.

He climbed clumsily from his seat and made his way to the back, staring at the Fistigons the whole time. He picked them up upon reaching them and examined them with a childlike curiosity. He had used them before, of course, but it seemed to him that he had never really examined them closely before. "Huh, these things are pretty cool." he said, as if he hadn't already figured that out. "The mighty Fistigons, gauntlets of fire."

He paused then, considering the word 'Fistigon.' "Heh, that's a funny word." he said, somehow aware of just how much like Molly he sounded in his pot addled state. "Fist-i-gons." he said, enunciating each syllable of the word. "F-I-S-T-I-G-O-N-S." he repeated again, this time enunciating each letter. "Fistigons, fistagons, fistlegons." he muttered, before laughing like a child. "God, I love that fucking word."

He paused again as another sensation washed over him. "Man, I'm hungry." he said. "Let's go get some food. What do you say 'Frog?"

"_I do not require nourishment master._" Leapfrog said, it's tone serious.

"Yeah, well, I do." Chase said. "So let's go. Master wants a fucking burger. And some pizza. And some fries. Oh, and maybe a milkshake!"

"_As you wish master._" Leapfrog said, it's tone still sounding slightly amused.

"Damn right." Chase said, before piloting the Leapfrog back down into the city in search of sustenance to sate his hunger.

* * *

A short time later Chase parked the cloaked Leapfrog in an ally behind a diner in downtown Los Angeles. His stomach was rumbling with hunger and he was certain that if he didn't get some food soon he was going to start eating himself. Slightly disturbed by that thought he entered the diner, realizing a second too late that this had been a mistake as there were three cops seated at the counter, all of them armed. Fortunately the cops seemed not to notice Chase and he made his way quickly and quietly to a seat at the back of the diner.

Once he was seated a waitress came over to take his order, smiling at him as she did so. "What can I get for you honey?" she asked.

"Uh...how about a cheeseburger, some fries, onion rings, mozzarella sticks, a milkshake, and a soda." Chase said.

The waitress looked at him with suspicion before moving to place his order. Moments later the three cops made their way over to his seat. "How's it going son?" one of them asked.

"I'm good dude." Chase said, with an innocent grin. "Something I can help you with?"

"We couldn't help but overhear your order." the lead cop said. "And I've gotta say, that's a lot of food for one guy."

"Yeah, well I'm a teenager and all that." Chase said. "You know how teenagers eat, right?"

"Yeah, I do." the cop said. "But I also know that people eat a lot when their stoned and I'm thinking that's the case with you, isn't it?"

"Shit." Chase muttered, realizing he had been caught.

"That's what I thought." the cop said. "Now why don't you come down to the station so we can talk. Maybe give your parents a call."

"My parents are dead." Chase said. "So, you know, no one for me to call."

"All the more reason you should come with us." the cop said.

"Can I at least eat my food first?" Chase asked, deciding it was best not to try and fight the cops without any of his weapons on him.

"We'll bring it with us." the cop said. "Now let's go."

Chase nodded and allowed the cop to lead him from the diner while the other two went to fetch his food.

* * *

A short time later, while Chase was being interrogated by the cops who had arrested him, another cop poked his head in and said, "There's someone here to see him."

The cops looked confused, but Chase felt only relief for he knew who had come to pay him a visit. His assumption turned out to be correct, as seconds later Nico, Gert, and Karolina entered the interrogation room, all of them looking both concerned and disappointed.

"Hey guys." Chase said, grinning, though the girls didn't return the gesture.

"We'll take care of him from here officers." Nico said, glancing at the cops.

"And just who are you, exactly?" the lead cop asked.

"We're his friends and if you don't let us take him, things are going to get very messy for you." Gert said, her tone deadly serious.

If the cops thought Gert was threatening them, they made no comment, much to Chase's relief. "Alright, he's yours." the lead cop said. "Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid like this again, would you?"

Gert nodded and she, Nico, and Karolina led Chase from the police station in silence, which Chase finally broke when he asked, "How did you guys find me and where are the others?"

"They're with the Leapfrog." Nico answered, her tone irritated. "And we found you because Victor can track the Leapfrog."

"Well, that's nice to know." Chase said, his tone light, hoping to make the girls smile. But the joke fell flat and Chase lapsed back into silence until they reached the Leapfrog, where Nico and Gert turned on him, their anger plain to see.

"What the hell Chase?" Nico shouted, as Victor piloted the Leapfrog back to the Hostel. "What the hell were you thinking? Why were you off on your own like that?"

"I was bored, so I thought I'd go on an adventure." Chase said, shrugging.

"Are you stoned?" Gert asked, her tone still deadly serious.

"Well, not as much as I was earlier..." Chase began, before trailing off as he whithered beneath Gert's piercing glare.

"Ai dios mio." Victor said, from the pilot's chair. "Are you serious dude?"

"Uh...yeah." Chase said. "Why do you care Vic?"

"He cares because it's stupid." Nico snapped. "Do you realize how much trouble you could have gotten yourself into?"

"Not to mention how that would affect the rest of us." Gert put in.

"You big dummy." Molly added, just to get her two cents in.

"Come on guys, it aint that big of a deal." Chase said. "It's not like I hurt anyone or anything. I was just bored, is all."

"Actually it is a big deal Chase." Gert said. "If you had done anything to compromise our security you would have been putting us all at risk, so I have to know, why did you do it?"

"Because I was bored, okay?" Chase shouted. "I had this whole party thing planned for tonight and you all blew me off, so I had to create my own fun."

"By getting stoned?" Nico asked. "Where did the weed even come from Chase."

"Klara grew it for me." Chase said, hoping to draw some of the heat off of him.

"I did not." Klara squealed, shooting Chase a hurt look.

"Nice try Chase." Karolina said. "But we all know Klara would never grow you weed."

"Okay, I bought it from a guy downtown a few days ago." Chase admitted.

"And do you have any more?" Gert asked, looking him right in the eye.

"No, I smoked it all." he said, hoping she couldn't tell that he was lying.

"Okay then." Gert said. "We'll let you off the hook this time, but you have to promise us that you won't do this again, agreed?"

"Agreed." Chase said. "I promise I won't do this again. Scouts honor."

Gert nodded, seemingly content with his answer. Nico seemed to believe him as well, for she turned and left, Molly, Karolina, Xavin, and Klara following her. Victor remained a moment longer before he too decided that Chase wasn't lying. Finally, even Gert left, with Chase's promise that he would meet her in a few.

As soon as they were gone Chase entered the Leapfrog and dug out his other jar. "Hey 'Frog, if we get the chance, you want to go on another adventure?"

"_It would be my pleasure master._" Leapfrog answered.

Chase smiled, glad he still had someone who was on his side on this. Still, for the time being he would keep his head down and let the others think he was done with pot. But if he ever got the chance he'd do it again, regardless of the risks or punishments, if only so he could have one more trip through the fertile green.

**End.**

**A/N: And that's my third Runaways fic. I wrote this one on a suggestion from my brother, who thought it would be make sense for this to happen. I agree. This does seem like something Chase might do, especially if he was bored, don't you think? Anyway, this was written pretty much just for the laughs and is not meant to be an endorsement of marijuana use. Nor is it meant to condemn marijuana use. It's just meant to be funny. Obviously this is AU, as Gert and Klara are both in it and they don't meet in the comics. Also, you may have noticed that the others don't apologize to Chase for blowing him off, which was done to imply that they are still unhappy with his actions. Finally, in case you were wondering, or don't understand, the title is a reference to weed and is taken from the title of a song by High on Fire, off their album _De Vermis Mysteriis_. Oh, and, as usual, Runaways is the property of Brian K. Vaughn and Marvel Comics. Hope you enjoyed. Cheers!**


End file.
